and thanks to miller, ive got.....

HADY!!

(wentworth) miller... my 2gig hero

anyways, my mister steward has struck again. he called me at midnight sg time telling me he just came back from some pelusuk in mexico. he brought back with him a recipe called adila which he had wanted me to try out. you try lah cook yourself, yourself, he said. geddit? lol....

i asked him if he wanted to watch john tucker must die with me one day...

mister steward: dowan! cerita scary ah kan.. i scared!

mister steward, u still crack me up but ur so gay!

and btw, i think suria raya karnival is really quiet and redundant. they really shouldnt have...

After awhile I learnt the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And I learnt that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And I began to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
I began to accept my defeats
With my head held high and my eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
I learnt to build my roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down

In midflight.
After awhile I learnt that even sunshine

Burns

If I get too much.
So I plant my own garden

And decorate my own soul

Instead of waiting for someone

To bring me flowers.
And I learnt that I really can endure,
That I really am strong.
And I really do have worth.
And I learn and learn...and I learn
 

Bit by bit,

You are all I see

All I feel

And all I smell

To be a better person

May we have many more inspiring years ahead of us, insya allah.

after 5 tests, a few good news, a trying episode and an enlightenment,

the next time i get to meet him is this saturday

tak sabar! tak sabar!! tak sabar!!! tak sabar, you!!!

i really hope everything turns out exactly how you had beautifully planned it

i was imagining it in my head as u delineated it to me on the phone just now.

so excited segala, though, i din quite show it. heeeeeee.....

ive been not feeling myself this whole week

and i need YOU to make me myself again.

can, dzul?

with a plan like that, sure can one!

quick lah saturday, come quick!!

hehe...

with that, a very blessed ramadhan to everyone yah!

mother: tu katil ker tempat longgok bantal? aiyoh, mother. *pengsan*

thanks eh rai. hehe. u got me addicted to horchow.com also.

any ideas?

the newest addition to the family. my nephew, sweet aqil.

having the privilege of being able to give birth to life is really something, isnt it?

we celebrated his cukur rambut a few weekends ago. thats his grandpa in white doing the honours.

i like the conventional door gifts of telur rebus in crocheted sacks and bunga rampai as token of appreciation for the guests. and of course, briyani dam with the werx from my favourite caterer.

ok dah.

ive got some sociological metatheorizing to do and a metatheoretical schema to analyse.

kuali man is friends with oily man which makes sense coz they work complimentary-ly together, oily man gives the oil kuali man needs.

oily man is orang minyak in malay.

kuali man is wok man in english.

no, they are not occupations like policeman or fireman. they are actually, urm.... non-human

see, its like living in discovery channel.

why we love simpang

1) abang reza

2) abang cassim

3) "you were served by Sunshine" *wat?!!*

4) "you were served by Casper" *double wat?!!*

5) the team oren vs team yellow fights

6) you would always meet someone there... friends, ex-friends, teachers, ex-teachers

7) back to point number 6, you would always meet someone there.... fire fighters, policemen, ciscomen

8) good tall ice tehcino, faster ah....

9) foooOoOOod

10) it never rains at simpang, never

simpang nights are divine, no?

only god knows how i feel.

h/a/h/a/h/a

i eagerly rush home from work or tuition or wherever so that i can reread my readings

haha/haha

anyways, i bumped into 3 of the most nicest people on the planet today. allu!! allu!!!! sat and waited with them til my highness arrived. parted for our banmian-slash-popiah  lunch. then bumped into someone i had always wanted to kill twice.

funny how this person can maintain such sentiments in me even after so long. i usually would have forgiven and most highly likely forgotten any misapprehensions, knowing how well my memory tends to flop. blueks. but this...... this  i really cannot do. maybe its because of this person's lack of respect for people in general and how this person had constantly disrespected one person after another, given his wicked sense of humour, in all its literal sense. i know of many people who mirrored my sentiments towards this particular person. so its pretty comforting to know that i am not alone afterall. hey, it sucks to hate someone for this long. and hate is a vair weak word, mind you. but seriously, this, i really really cannot do.

window shopped marina and made mental notes of things i want to get come pay day next week. some quick calculations and everything added up to about 200 dols. very scary. have to downsize my wants and only get my needs ah. hmmmm.... maybe this i cannot do also. haha, i suck dont i......

my favourite person quarter-treated me to swenson's banana crumble and fries after that. quarter-treated coz i paid 3 dols plus to cover the service charges. we played what is the capital city of _______? and i lost. yah this guy knows his stuffs ok. but nemind,  i have found my secret weapon. *evil laffs* id memorise the whole list and even the biggest, the largest and the poorest of them all. this, i know i can do...............

fongafale is the capital of _________? hah! tak tau kan! kan!

so til next week ya dzul! id really like to beat u flat, okie. thank you.

*croons* kau lah satu-satunyaaaaaa hady

son aku nama dier hady batisah ok tak?

2) silver MC slip-ons with turquoise stones

3) crocs flat slip-ons

4) red havaianas

5) maroon C&K sandals

6) nano

typical rite. havent yet pay day and already making a list of what i want. tsk tsk...

im so used to hearing my nephews and nieces churn out various renditions of that same song. the eldest would be screaming teekle teekle leeleel tar rawk style ala hady mirza. then theres lelel lelel lelel lar courtesy of his still phonically challenged younger brother. the youngest sister, urm... she wld just sway her butt and open her mouth, as if wanting something to come out but only managing a few lot of shrill shrieks. once, my cousin ran out of songs to sing to her newborn, she lulled her son to sleep with twinkle twinkle.

my point is, twinkle twinkle is a happy song. that boy in the ad, hes just so sad! he makes me sad! im so sad now! omg! i really need to go to work already. but omg! i feel like crying! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

as you can see *nod nod nod* the demand curve *nod nod*

would slope downwards *nod nod nod nod*

so *nod nod nod* can you explain why *nod nod nod*

mister NG is short for mister Nodder Giler. heh. he sits at the same place every single lecture, strategically in front of the lecturer and in full nodding view of every single one of us. me and 3 others made quick plans to come early next week and take over his place. then take over the world. today seat, tomorrow world. muaaaaaahahaaahahahaaaa!!!

anyways, we think the lecturer hates him. each time a qn was asked, mister NG would be the first to answer, as if he has a point to prove. padahal takde. hurhurhur. conclusively, the lecturer hates him coz his answers are almost always correct which gives others no chance to prove him wrong. yeah, i feel you my dear lecturer. i feel you.

til when we manage to take over his seat. muaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahaaa!! meantime, peace.

p.s. i love dzul

subhanallah walhamdulillah
astaghfirullah wallahu akbar
subhanallah walhamdulillah
astaghfirullah hasbi Allah

di tepi kerinduanku
memandang hampa pada dunia
ku hanya orang biasa
tak lepas dari rasa kecewa

reff: hanya padamu tempatku mengadu
pahit yg kini menyiksaku
aku percaya tiada yg sia-sia
semua kan ada hikmahnya

repeat *

angan yg membalut mimpi
dulu melukis nyanyian hati
ku hanya orang yg kalah
satukan hatiku yg terbelah

anyone else watches hikmah? no?! boooooooooooooo!!

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

go watch click, ok. its funny, smart, witty, touching and the kids were just so adorable! we couldnt stop talking about the movie even after pizzas and the fireworks.

pizza ni delicious, serious.

its your birthday!

not even pirates had this much power over us. and pirates has my johnny, mind you. of course dzul wants the same thing adam sandler got. so that he can fast forward and rewind whenever he pleases but most importantly, so that he can mute me when im nagging lah, confirm one. but actually hor, its more than just a funny movie. there are deeper implications to it. thats y i like it, lor.

adam sandler is my silver screen genius.

forever & ever, babe, confirm one.

humongous golden ribbon - checked

card - checked

cake - checked

bunga api - checked

time to meet the boy for his surprise. and i cant wait to catch the look on his face.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

they can talk like this.. but no! they! talk! like! this!

they sound so angry! all the time!! relax lah... im just beside you. you dont need to shout. some cosmos must have contrived against me coz when talking to others, they sound happy-er. and when i say they, i meant one person in particular. or maybe its just my hearing, ey. maybe theres something wrong with my ears.

im disturbed.

please, excuse my stratospheric complaints. the point is, when people talk to me like that, i dont feel very respected as a person. im not 6 years old. (waves index finger. whispers: im all of 18 *lol*)

my crazy fren wants to name her kid azizul zilatil zilzalaha so that his name would appear first on the class register. and also coz it sounds like zenedine zidane only longer. hahaha. ok lah anything lah. i think im ready to run for my goals now. i see the end in mind but ssshhhh.... they shall remain a secret, though, if u had paid a little attention, u could have guessed already, definitely =)

mat and mina was put under my wing coz theyre new. i called mat into my cubicle to pass him some files for editing the other day. the whole office saw mina pinching mat's poor nipples for a good 15 seconds the moment he came back out from my cubicle. mina had a bitch fit and cornered me in the toilet warning me not to talk to mat anymore, just coz she doesnt like it.  shes 18 and hes 19 by the way. she concluded that i liked him and that anything can happen. LOL..... i dun really have that many people cornering me in the toilet and exclaiming with full blooded outrage that shes jealous of me like that. in fact, shes a first. so let me bask in this glory diva style. maybe im being mean coz i know shes just an 18 year old nobody and hes just a gawky-blom-pegi-NS mat. but wateva! lol.. i gave the mina more work files to edit lah of course. more power to me....

that aside

i have been busy putting my life in order

so far..... so good.....

bye-bye!

1.

streaking my hair blonde and orange and....... urm... 3 other colours

2.

painting my room pink

i love abang zidane. do you?

eh, ive lost all power to express myself as well as i could like last time through writing. in other words, i feel very.. ditzy queen ya'all. so yeah, heres the recipe

Basic dough ingredients:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

i added nutella and chopped bitter-sweet chocolate instead of chocolate chips to make my double choc-chips. oats and raisins are nice too.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 F / 180 degree celcius.

Cream together butter and sugars until smooth. Add egg and vanilla and blend in.

Mix the rest of the dry ingredients and add in chocolate chips.

Use a fork to drop cookie dough on to a greased baking sheet. Trust me its easier than a spoon.

Bake for approx. 8 to 10 minutes or until golden brown around the edges.

Enjoy!

but still the line has to be drawn somewhere

to recognize the good from the bad

to acknowledge the dream

and the spirit to run for the goal

to differentiate reality, from the impossible

anyway, i felt a wreck a month ago. many things i had questioned, at the expense of certain things im not proud of. i guess its a learning process, to ask and to question. i had attributed the reason for my misguidance to one particular person and ironically, its in him too that i seek my solace. there are bound to be bumps along the way, he said. its time you avoided those bumps.

Kusadari akhirnya
Kerapuhan imanku
Telah membawa jiwa dan ragaku
Ke dalam dunia yang tak tentu arah

Kusadari akhirnya
Kau tiada duanya
Tempat memohon beraneka pinta
Tempat berlindung dari segala mara bahaya

Oh Tuhan, mohon ampun
Atas dosa dan dosa selama ini
Aku tak menjalankan perintah-Mu
Tak perdulikan nama-Mu
Tenggelam melupakan diri-Mu

Oh Tuhan mohon ampun
Atas dosa dan dosa
Sempatkanlah aku bertobat
Hidup di jalan-Mu
Tuk penuhi kewajibanku
Sebelum tutup usia
Kembali pada-Mu

there is a certain relief on my part now. my dreams are clearer so the spirit to run for the goal is so much stronger than ever before. im making a goal list, just like earl and his karma list. no idea what im talking about? oh, nevermind. lets start things anew, shall we?

on another totally different note, boredom caught me and i made these.

double choc-chip + almonds

choc-chip + oats + raisins... yeah i got carried away

i told'ja im baccccccck.

i will pen the details.... urm.... later coz theres lots to say definitely. rite now i just want to sleep.

anyone who hasnt received their progress package yet please, stand up.

coz i havent

i will be voting this year so yeah, im not 18.

my polling card is green. what colour is yours?

i want a date for saturday after polling day. any takers?

i want a date for the yet another long weekend coming this vesak day.

anyone?

anyways... work........

work involves a classified project, acronym-ed 'A'.

hmm...

ok i guess thats all i can say about work.

on to better things

i love dzul

dzul, i love you

(please reply)

*lol*

have faith, woman.

thats our babu singh pie

deela and deezul the photographer

it was a total of four bags and two pairs of shoes between us. my hunt for my polka dotted shirt delivered a rather disappointing ending. so after walking miles through the throngs of people and weaving our way in and out of shops, relief came in the form of a few vibrating and squeezing contraptions. even our photographer was enjoying his moment with that single vibrating stick.

on your marks, get set... go!

we

love

osim!!

oooooi itu muka... maintain yer maintain...

we had to practically pry everyone from their seats coz no one wanted to leave.

its really shiok nak mampos! the next time we drop by, its i squeeze u and u zap me again, for sure.

the bimbo sis welcomed him in and informed the whole household that i got sunflowers, bear and balloons from abang deezul. we stared at it for a good five minutes after the initial overwhelming surprise had calmed. then she looked at me, and i looked at her, and she said, thats allll???? lol... maybe theres something else inside, she proclaimed. so we pulled everything out from its basket hoping for an ipod nano to pop out or chocolates at the very least.

but anyways the balloon says "youre the best". well arent i not? teeheeheee......

thank u deezul. ur the best too.

and thank you to the rest for the wishes and gifts. ain for the singing birthday card and an unforgiving inking on my arm. muna for the bestest wish, happy 18th birthday!!, she said. i love her for that! hehe. my blood bruddder who remembered all the way from adelaide ozzie australia. how'ya doin mate?! ana for her special cebu bday wish. and all u rest who chipped in for the mango fruit + cheesecake = mangocheesecake. just coz i was craving for it. hurhurhur.

so there. my happy 18th birthday. =)