that feeling u get. this coldish sensation. first it creeps through your right toe. then your left. then slowly the cold goes up your legs. and then the blood rushes up fast. making it a mixture of confusing hot and cold. u tried resisting stretching ur legs but u must. then when everything settles from waist down, u stretch ur hands. and u get heady with the bloodflow to ur head. u lie still and start breathing in the sweetnees deeply. the first deep gush of cold air completely filling your lungs. sweet to the tongue. with an almost orgasmic choking feeling. then u cough. u must cough. to normalise the rhythm. and u feel ur heart beating within you.

this feeling i get. to know that i am alive, each morning as i wake up at six-thirty-ish for subuh. nothing beats this six-thirty-ish feeling.

its new year's eve today. let me quote myself... sometime at the beginning of the year, i remembered telling elzap, "i think i started off 2004 well. this year will be good lah" well... true.. true. its been helluvaaaaah good. i will, if i have the time, pen down all thats in my head this whole year long. but fact, i dont have the time. coz one cool guy will be gettin' his behind over to my place in a matter of minutes and im still lounging in my shorts. we wanna usher in the year right u see. coz we want 2005 to be good too. so happy 05 everyone!

sparse updates. but thats jus coz he has been doing me that great great favour. anyhoots.. the week went by well spent by us two...

got thrashed...

and got high....

frolicked a lil in the sun...

my sandwiches was like this movie.. alaaah.... u knowww that movie.. gone in 60 seconds.. yeah like that

we played some sijori...

the crouching tiger, with specs on the forehead shot...

the crouching tiger, one-legged dragon shot...

then there was the huge confused ahneemal we saw..

lunch date with uncle kenny at jb..

then dinner at our favouritest seaside paradise..

and unwound ourselves back at home with ps2.. affectionately known as black baby...

one for the ride.. thanks sis

my sister lurrrves to shove books or magazines or anything readable into my face. she thinks i can see better if i have the words at the tip of my nose there knowing that i am semi-blind. i dun think shes thinking. anyway i was reading this wonderful Taj book i have been meaning to finish tonight... Taj is the title by the way. and as blatant as the title itself suggest, its about the Taj Mahal. now, this book.....its different. the writer was able to spin a dual dimension perspective, depicting and at the same time building up both the characters of Princess Mumtaz Mahal and Prince Shah Jehan in the first person degree in different chapters. like... u start reading the first chapter as the Princess.. and then the second chapter translates to the Prince. and somehow both the chapters are relative. its complicated. but enjoyable and smart. and i found it to be a really blardee intelligent arrangement to write as such. however, thats not the point i want to discuss. i digressed.

back to my sister part. yeah so she lurrrves to shove stuffs in my face. so as i was reading, i brought the book closer......

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and closer.......

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and closer............

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well u get the idea.

and of course i couldnt see a damn thing with the book right at the tip of my eyelashes. then i felt dumb. really dumb. but thats not my point either.

when u get close to something or someone, too close sometimes.. things become a terrible blurr. u dont get to see things like u did before. nothing translates into anything comprehensible. and it gets frustrating. and if such things persists, things will get tiring. so.. let me drive home my point. when things turn into such, u have no choice but to push things away. not in the sense of throwing and forgetting it forever. but to push it so that u can start seeing again. u know, perspectives change... all the time. and change... is good. so if u think that ur relationship is going nowhere, or so is ur schoolwork, its probably time to push some things and start seeing the bigger picture. go and and breathe in that gasp of fresh air. it will do u good my fren. *winks*

so u got a tee baby. we saw the christmas lights. i became a shortie policeman. and im more excited about coming back home now than ever. more than i am excited about snorkelling and banana-boating and waterskiing and riding that ski thing u always see them do on baywatch watevaucallit. and im-a-gonna-go out of singapore looking like a cheryl FAUX wannabehh. gawd the tragedy.

these bangs.. they excite me yo. my belo-ness has finally overcomeD me. dont miss me when im gone. bimbo out! (seacrest style)

i am meeting u in exactly 6 hrs and i cant wait. need that smile. lets finish our love <3

and recalling a conversation i had with my sister jus now

sis: kak wats h-a-m-l-n?

me: wat the hekkkkkk is that??

sis: here u read lah *shoves this book into my hand*

me: haiiiyaaaah the pied piper of hamlin laaah..

me: dier lupa I lah tuh...typo error

sis: *smirk smirk smirk* ohhhhh dier lupa YOU *smirk smirk smirk* takper i know who will always remember you kak.

and jus now when i was happily sprawled on my room floor watching evolution, mama barged into my room coz she smelled smoke and she thought i was smoking. turns out my youngest sister was playing bunga api in her room with my nieces. i mean... like... nak mampos! something could have caught fire. wat if!!

abah came back home with mama from 5 weddings jus now. and he handed his 3 girls with this.

he said, "abah bought this jus for you three." thanks eh bah!

its funny how someone can come up and say something to u, and claim they meant it one moment, from the bottom of their hearts bladeblaaaa-aaa-aa-aaa .. and then the next moment... poof... those words are jus utter bullpoo.

its funny how gawk deep impressions of people change in one so-called life changing moment, over something that that person may not even display a conscious intention in doing.

its funny how unfair we find life to be. and even funnier how everyone share the same sentiments and finds it so too.

its funny how.. no matter how much i clean and decorate my room, it still aint getting any preeetier.

so u think u had those thoughts stashed deep into some unknown recess of ur head but somehow, they managed to creep back out, slowly... and dangerously.. and then wham! emotional resurrection... boooo... ugly

its funny how your actions are able to create an immense reaction from another.

its funny when u realise that by controlling your actions, u control their reactions.

its funny how the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself and to have found someone who loves the me i love is magnificent.

its funny how we are so alike in a million different ways, how you are jus soooo me.

its funny how your sincerity speaks for itself no matter how hard i secretly try to test you.

its funny that i now realise living life one day at a time.. sucks.. as compared to living life one step at a time.

ok enough funny nonsense.

oh yeah one more funny thought

its jus so funny how one musical mat can win over the hearts of so many the many so much so that they/she are/is willing to fork out {$d_entry}.50 x 20 = for the sake of it. padahal padahal...

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u see, im trying to do myself a bit of justice and explain (rather ineffectively) the reason behind my paranoidal weight gain. eh paranoidal eh.. got such things meh...... but me trying to do that.. i might get wordy again.. very bowwring yo... so i shall cut the story short.

we got hyperly paranoid one day that both of us would end up.. you know.. fat. so we decided on doing smthing healthier for a change. yeah! (do it with all the usher glory now.. toodooot toodooot)

i got mud on my tee. oil on my jeans. whilst he.. he.. managed to stay sparkling clean. tak rugged lah you! hohohahahaa. need i mention, the view from bedok jeti was spectacular lah..

and then and then and then.....

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HEALTHY KEBABAI!

we started eating like as if theres no tomorrow tau. after cleaning ourselves up we drove down to the lagoon. had ikan pari bakar, sotong bakar and fried kailan. orgasmic-ally mind blowing i tell ya!! i got my coconut juice. he got 2 plates of rice. the sambal was terrific. verrrrrry hot. but i like the heat. ada someone tu cannot tahan pedas. the fish was soft and flaky and not fishy smelling. the sotong was nice and springy. the kailan was still crunchy but cooked. and the best part.. the portions were huge!

and the view.. *faints* wonderful.......

another place to must go

dila: so didoooo... wadya think of the place?

nice? good? ok? magnificient? stupendous?

dzul: wowww... numberrrrrrr one!

is there a sure-fire lazy man's way to lose this rubbery thing around my abs that jiggles when i walk? and still jigles even when i stop? oh gawd the tragedy...

my neck totally ached after watching shutter. u'll only get wat i mean after watching. so go.. its really good. came back and found mama on my bed. she told me she lost her job. i was already thinking.. abez lah.. makin berenda rumah aku... then 15 mins later she told me she got a new job. i was like.... whoa wat the hey!  haha alhamdulillah anyhows..

so hows everyone doing?

i feel lumpy. very lumpy. got to cut down on the rendang intake. and run.. well.. maybe..

hisham.. the pill u were telling me. still have it?

im ubberly bored rite now, i even thought this was funny...

haha.. im so gonna mess up everyone's faces....

we finally got to meet up proper yeah. been oh so long. k to all.. go catch the incredibles! i simply adore jack-jack!! and dash!! i wish i was elastigirl but the only thing elastic about me right now is my perut.. *rolls eyes* and the animations were jus so amazing tau!  i jus love the whole movie lah. ooozing cuteness. then we had these... nyam nyam....

hohohahaha.. an overdose of our pics yeah yeah i knowww. someones looking too tembam. and another looks a bit macam prawn. red lah hey.. but uve got the tan u wanted finally at big splash. and no i dont need a tan kay.

yo lido bimbo deario *hawhaw*... more car spins aye!

rehhlee good raya. got to drive so thats good too. and wak's rendang.. ya tuhan! that whole periuk i can lick it clean. okokpeeektures...

elated niece and nephew with their loot..

with lil sis

with mama and sisters

mama and abah

sweeet huda

charming umar

cheeky diyana

guests at the 5 concept house

attention everyone! pengumuman... pengumuman.. untuk semua!

mama's renda-renda ropol-ropol lacey-lacey curtains jatuhhh! muahahahahaaa.. and mama gawked lah... heeheeheee. u see.. the hooks holding the pole holding up the curtains gave way. mama blamed it on the man whom she claimed had terrible workmanship and didnt fix the hooks properly. fair enough. but with 5 kilos of ropols and rendas mama... u need something more than a wak blangkon to do the job i reckon.

with that.. SELAMAT HARI RAYA to everyone celebrating even amidst the examinations. hang in there u guys. thanks a mil for the card rayas. im so not in the musim to give away cards this year. hehehee.. maaf zahir dan batin tulus ikhlas dari adillah yer. cant wait for the jalan raya outings this year lah. somebahdee please conjure something ok. fazzie do ur magic. *grinzz*

tomoro is the last day of ramadhan. and i suddenly feel so sad and sayu. couldnt do much trawih this time round. so probably thats why. but im not gonna blame it on exams.

raya preps was so hyped up in the home this year since we jus renovated the place. everyone is so into in making the place up. so u see.. theres 5 people with 5 different strong personalities wanting 5 different concepts for the home. we haf mama's lace and renda-renda ropol corner. pening gedebakkk.. abah's ala renaissance cum 60's mat vintage corner. some ethnic thingy going on in another corner. then we haf the minimalist corner with only one lonely pot of plant. all of us couldnt agree wat goes totally with it. tried putting cushions all around but it looked like a reaaahleee out of place christmas tree wannabee. ya know? well go figure.....

and u guys should take a look at this. at least peep.

oh yeah.. i have bangs!!! but its kejong hah haha...

so, today, last 2 papers. yessssssssaaah! cant wait for 4pm. can enjoy lah. rather underservingly, really. since i have not been doing anything much close to productive.... at all OK. semester slack but doesnt matter. everyone's been doing it. so lets just assume that its trendy to slack this semester. *hawhaw* nanti kluar results.. rasaaakan baybehh

read this off somewhere...

the end will just bring to a wonderful beginning that the future has planned out for u

trying to be optimistic..... *goes into lotus pose... ohmmmmm*

oh ye dreaded papers coming forth... may thee all bade each other well with ol' good lucks. i know we need 'em lots.

 so till 2 weeks time now. shoo shoo!

bimbo called me up terribly early one morning and dragged me to the loreal make up sale. i was merengek-ing at her to let me sleep a bit more. called dzul up to do a bit of menjeng-ing *hehe* and coz i missed him also. *awwwwww* things were going at 4 for 12 bucks when they r usually priced at more than 12 bucks per piece. now tell me thats not worth it. and us being the roaring female species, we got crazy. the nyonyas were practically having their arms around me like im their own daughter. we were really.. like... grabbing everything, and anything. when else can u shop for make up like a true blue tai tai *batts eyelids* and with raya coming, the sale was like a godsend. but anyway really lah it was worth it!! check out our stash....

and we three got crazy with the cam.......... as usual...................... *grinz*

a quick meet up for buka was planned with these 3 happiest people. everyone had fun laughing at each other. and nobody minded. oi i miss u guys man!

and the food was superb lah naturally since its at one of my favourites. the last time i went was for lunch only a few mths back and yet they had a totally new entree menu already. and them having no service charge reiterates it as the ultimate eating place. dinner was going for 12.80 for a full course meal, soup as starters with garlic bread, your choice of entree, desert and hot or cold coffee or tea. they do offer lunch sets at 6.80 too but the place closes at 3pm so i guess its wise to hit the place before that.

i simply love the way they fuse the taste in eastern food with the western ones. spicy but still palatable. and very pleasing to the eye too. i especially liked their tremendously creative soup concoctions. my previous visit there, i licked my bowl of really creamy soup kambing totally clean. this time round, the soup tasted very much like bubur masjid. only creamier and really tasty. think pulsated bubur masjid with added cream. haha ok... bunyi cam tak sedap sangat but trust me its mind blowing.

fried calamari

garlic bread

black pepper chicken

vegetable pita

question: miss, u talk so much.. where is this place?

answer: aha! good question..... its at bugis, eatz19. walk down the road where ah choo is right to the end. they simply have thier fusion food manifested at its best. powa to the mah. go ransack!